fulstop

berhenti menulis blog utk sementara...pasni xblh nak commit dah...will b bz working n sleeping..huhu...till we meet again...daa~

this song most likely happens to everyone~

i'm included...and it hurts..

setelah kupahami
ku bukan yang terbaik
yang ada di hatimu

tak dapat kusangsikan
ternyata dirinyalah
yang mengerti kamu
bukanlah diriku

kini maafkanlah aku
bila ku menjadi bisu
kepada dirimu

bukan santunku terbungkam
hanya hatiku berbatas
tuk mengerti kamu
maafkanlah aku

reff:
walau kumasih mencintaimu
kuharus meninggalkanmu
kuharus melupakanmu
meski hatiku menyayangimu
nurani membutuhkanmu
kuharus merelakanmu

dan hanyalah dirimu
yang mampu memahamiku
yang dapat mengerti aku

ternyata dirinyalah
yang sanggup menyanjungmu
yang lama menyentuhmu
bukanlah diriku

demam~

huhu...demam lagiiiiii...tension..mesti sbb asik kua je...xckup tido n rehat....tp b4 start keje ni mau lepak ckup2..huhu...sape2 yg ade kat area 13 skg ni, bole la dtg join sy kat rafi...lepak2..n then p kedai zul yahya...bersyisya plak..hehe

hidup baru~

number da tukarrr...yeayy..finally...da xde lg da anonymous number yg msg n call..huhu....n now i'm back in shah alam...living my life as usual...n i'm about to getting back my fun life..!! hehe...so far semua ok...cume asik xckup tido jee...asik kua je..huhu...so now nak tido smpi mlm...bgun nnt nak p bershisha dgn ira..hehe...gudnite everyone~

kena marah... T_T

hari2 bangun lmbat, hr ni sy kna mrh dgn mak..huhu...mak ckp 'tu la online smpi pg...nnt mak tutup intenet tu br tau..' huhu...mesti la mak mrh kan sy bgun lmbt...xde sape nak tlg mak msk..sorry makkkk...xsengaja....igtkan xnak tido trus..pas tlg mak br tido mcm hari tu...tp nak bt cene..sy merancang, Allah jua yg menentukan...huhuhu

hr ni xde plan nak bt pape...maybe juz stay at home...dgn kepanasan cuaca thp t'tggi mcm ni, mmg xdo la den nak kua..haha..mcm hr2 biase...tgk tv je lah..sunday blues~

when u look inside a girl's heart,

u'll see the struggle it takes

to get thru all the craps in her life...

u'll see all the lies, the bullshits

and the times she wished she was dead...

but most of all, u'll see how hard it was

to let go of the asshole who acted like

he actually CARED...

what hurts d most is being so close..

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin? to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

stupid in love~

i stood there and was thinking...then..

i walked thru my life and felt incomplete..then..

i ran coz i thought i can feel better than this..

but now i'm falling down coz i'm tired of pretending..

i need u my missing piece...

dont judge a book by its cover..huhu

this is so trueeeee....trust me..hehe...sometimes what we look isn't d same like what it really is..happened to me like hundred times..huh...first thing first, i dedicate dis entry to someone who was once my closest friend and was like a daughter to my family..what looks good on the outside sometime just doesn't good on the inside..this suits her..perfectly....tadaaa..congrats to u sister...oppsss, not anymore...can i call u 'back stabber'?? if u allow me lah...but if u dont, who cares huh..i forgave u but i never forget...like forever....

and...i dedicate dis entry to myself..hehe...why eh??? let me tell u...people always see me as a lucky girl...they see me laughing, smiling, having fun...they think i am pretty and have almost everyhing...some of them think i am great till they feel shame to befriends with me..hmmm...but people do not know d truth bout me...behind my smile, there is pain...behind my laugh, there's suffer...i love to having fun coz i need to forget my misery life....yeahhh...my life is a misery...i always crying inside my heart...i get jealous when i see other people having a great n happy life.....i didn't finish my study...i have no job...i am broke...and d saddest thing ever, i have never had a great love life....yes i admit there's lots of guys who want me....take me as their gf...people might see me as a player...but only i know what's inside my heart...its hard for me to fall in love...but everytime i fall for someone, trust him, loving him with all my heart..in the end i'll be left broken hearted...this is so sad...i can't take d pain anymore...i'm tired of trying...and i always wonder ' bile aku nak bahagia mcm org lain?? '...aku pecinta yg setia tp kenapa susah nak cari org yg bole syg aku ikhlas n jujur....hmmm...only god knows....

huisshh...hari raya mcm ni xmo sedih la..huhu...3rd raya already..hehe...everybody must be tired of visiting n collecting duit raya kan...me included!! haha...i'm taking dis chance to wish u all a happy eid syawal....minta maaf zahir n batin...till we meet again in d next entry..sayonara~

si amatur yg xserius..huhu~

lamanyaaaaaaaaaaa x bukak blog...hahahah...malas gile ouh...plus nothing interesting to share...huhuu..

ok la...pasni nak konsisten dgn blog ni....kalo x kesian kat my baby bile bukak je blog ni xde new post..hahahah...

baby, love u baby....muahhhhh

empty..

my heart, my soul n my mind are feeling EMPTY

eventho there are lots of friends around me,

i still feeling EMPTY

my LIFE...

it's EMPTY

kenapa???

wish to b at somewhere

away from everything

here comes the pain..again.....

maybe single suits me more...yes i think it is...people can blame me...its up to u...but d truth, d pain, i'm d one who feels it....i can stand it if i'm d one that u hurt but when it comes to my family, i'm so sorry...no compromy...

do not promise if u can make it...do not give me false hope if u dun mean it...don't juz don't if u do it juz to impress me....

i'm so sorry...maybe i'm juz not d right girl yet for u...

home sweet home...

bile da blk kampung rs tamo blk shah alam da....kat kampung happy jee...tade yg judge aku, yg nak amik kesempatan ke or yg nak pretend2 nih....

rase xpuas lagi bergosip mosip dgn emak n adik2...xpuas lg baring2 kat peha emak sambil suh emak main2 rambut....alaaaaa....kat kucing2 lg laa....xpuas lg nak bergomol momol dgn kucing2 suma....xdpt tgk dorg sume membesar...blk je tetibe da 2times bigger than d last time i saw them...haihhh...rugi ouh..

kat kampung pun bole mkn byk2....xpyh byr...tade sape nak kisah....bole x nak duk kat kampung sampai bile2..pleaseeeee.... T_T

no more u as my BEST FRIEND

i won't TRUST u anymore

i'm taking BACK my trust on u

you r NOTHING to me..

daaaa.....

kepala sesak...

da xnak study tp kenape nak kna study lg..abah, tlg lah fhm...sy da xnak study...if abah btol2 nak sy ada degree, pls let me further my study in different course...i dun mind to start all over again...plsss...pls understand my feeling...it's so tense to b a part 8 student...and it's more ashamed when i'm d only part 8 student in my course...sigh~

i'm sorry that i've made u dissapointed with me...my fault...my mistake...my flaw...i'm stupid...abah,i wish u cud hear what my heart is talking right now...i'm crying inside...and it's painful...i didn't mean to let u down....i wanna make u proud with me....but juz pls let me...let me start all over again...i promise u things won't b d same....

semangat sy dah hilang abah...hati sy dah xde kat PAMS lg....sy mintak maaf abah...

     few days da x bukak blog nih, lots of stories yg nak d share same2..huhuhu..i dunno how to start my writing dis time....where to start eh?? emmm..clubbing..heheh...after quite a long time my nights were so boring, i finally got back my fun night last friday...yippiiee..!! rootz best cume sempitnya..pack gile2 smpi bile dance pun asik nak t'langgar org je...haih~

     eh lupe pulak, last friday tu 1st time clubbing dgn mahathir lah rupanya..hahahahh...to mahathir, sorry if ada my behavior yg awk x suke mlm tu...xsedar loh..huhuhu...n thanks k for coming n thanks jgk utk moment moment yg selepas tu.. :P...sgt x boleh lupa ok..hahahahah..had a wonderful night with u...haihhh..wish i cud turn back d time...

     the nex day, i was talking all d time kan mahathir...n its something yg jarang2 aku jd mcm tu..hahahah...i was talking talking n talking from d moment we left the gardens till we entered the mid valley till we took the train to kl sentral n till mahathir met d clients...hahahah...bile mahathir p jmp client, aku t'pakse duduk kat table len sbb xblh kacau dorg berdiscuss...dr pkul 1 pm smpi 6 pm ok.....bygkn lah aku t'pks duduk for 5 hours and suffered sbb xblh nak ckp lgsg..sbb xde org nak ajak borak...haihhh...rs mcm nak join je org table sebelah tp kang igt aku gila pulak...da la ms tu dress up aku mcm indon je okey!!...ni mahathir pny psl la ni...huhuh..nex time bg lah baju yg cantik2 sket or maybe nex time i shud bring my own stuff anywhere i go...in case jd lg benda2 yg x d sangke mcm ni..huhuhuh....

     sunday pulak, aku, mahathir n ain dating bertiga k...3some..hahah...pegi timesquare teman ain shopping, mkn-mkn n tgk movie sampai lah ain collpases sbb dia x sihat plus excited sgt shopping utk awek dia..heheh...eh, n thanks again kat madir banje sy eyeliner, dress n cute snow cap..thanks awk..heheh

     my entry dis time sampai cni je la kot...siyes xde idea nak ckp pe lg...byk bnd yg jd tp xtau cene nak tulis..huhuhu...maybe nex time...till then, take care ya...

     

berita baik n berita buruk..

today adik2 sy sibuk call..sorang call sbb happy sorang lagi sedih..alaa cian..i wish i cud be around my family right now..sigh~ congrats to my brother farez for ur spm result..x sangka huh..hard work pay off kann..after this welcome to campus life...sekejap je da besar kan...rs mcm baru je marah2 my lil' brothers..baru je mandikan dorang..suapkan makan...kena teman dorang pegi taman..huhuh my other brother farizul, dun b sad ok..maybe bkn rezeki plus pengadil tu mmg bongok..lagipun cukup cukup lah medal yg da ade kat rumah tu..x tau nak letak mane da...hahah...i miss you..my gossip partner.. :( my youngest bro, adik kecik pulak..ha, goodluck for ur 200m tomorrow ok school's sprinter..hahah... hope to be around all of u soon...really2 missing u..!!

love is all around.. :)

happy tgk my close friend back in relationship with her boyfie.. :)
this is d season of love i guess..mane2 pegi pun semua mcm tgh so in love kann..syasya + syahir..emma + afifi....ain + fieza...hahah...ain...my bestfriend ever...no matter who u loved or in love with, i'll always supporting u ok..

talking bout love..i have my own perception...when 1 side gives MORE, d other side will gives LESS...yes, dis is true...trust me..

reminisce..

kdg2 aku teringat balik

those bitter things..

sakitnya sampai skrg terasa..!!

teringat bukan sbb syg

tp sbb menyesal kenal kau..!!

sbb kau mak abah aku menangis..

tau tak..pukimak..!!

abah aku layan kau mcm anak sendiri

sbb tau kau dah tak ada bapak

mak aku lagi laaa..

sanggup lupe aku n masak ape yg ko suke mkn

kdg2 siap tapau kot suruh bg kat mak kau

mak kau yg layan aku mcm sampah tu..!!!

demn la kau..!!

ko ckp kat aku ape..

kau maki abah aku sbb aku serang betina tu..

woi..!!

mak n adik kau dulu halau n hina aku

pernah ke aku nak lawan balik..

pernah ke aku nak maki balik..

aku mmg menyesal sgt

menyesal kenal kau..

menyesal bwk ko masuk dlm family aku

sbb skrg hati family aku semua terluka..

semua sbb kau la fucker..!!!

i dont ever wanna see ur face again..

or hear ur name..

coz now u r like an ASSHOLE

pertama kali....

bile tgk sume org pun da start berblogging, rase mcm nak join gak..huhuh..my 1st time nih and FYI, i really am bad in writing..heheh..but who cares huh..

hmmm, rase mcm ok jgk kan nak 'meluahkan perasaan' kat sini....bole gune harsh words x..bole x?? if xbole pun still nak gune jgk..ye lah mane tau nanti ade mase mood tgh x baik ke or tgh marah kat someone ke kannn..heheh~

so, 1st story in my blog...FRUST x dpt nak p keje..uwaaaa..!!! kecewa bangat...rase mcm putus cinta..hah....kalau x dpt p keje tu sbb ade exam ke or atok meninggal ke x pe la jgk kan...ni sbb x de kasut yg sesuai nak pakai...wat d hell laaa...adoyai~...rugi rm80 for today..haihhh...da la tgh nak guna duit sgt2!!..huhuh...x pe lah..maybe bkn rezeki kot...

jap g nak p cari kasut dgn syasya..nak cari kasut yg murah and berkualiti..mane nak cari eh?? mesti cari sampai jumpa so esok n d next days bole p keje n kumpul duit byk2..hahah..sy 'mata duitan'...but i''ll earn dat money using my own effort k and yg penting halal...yepp, eventho sy nampak cam jahat n x berguna but i do care bout where n how d money come from..huhuh..thanks to my parents..mmuaaahhh...eventho sy anak n manusia yg x bape nak baik but still ade lg nilai2 murni yg my parents ajar yg masih sy praktikkan..heheh..

emmm, nak say sorry kat my friends and my 'cuppy cake' yg kena marah or terkena tempias mood sy yg x baik today...i'm so sorry...ye lah, konon td mcm putus cinta kann tu yg emo semacam..heheh..sory ya syg2 sme..love you...mmmuaaahhh...!!

now, mase utk TIDO...!!! will be updating dr masa ke semasa ok...pade hal aku x tau pun tah ade org follow tah x..hahah..but who cares huh..heheh...till then, see ya..daa~